These are parts of Chapter 12 that are considerably among the funniest. Note: The situation may be sensitive for sensitive stomachs. XD
Wednesday before lunch Samuel filled in a cubicle in the comfort room of upstairs Brentford. He unzipped his pants down and sat on the toilet bowl.
His face exhibited jagged pain. “Ouch! Pasaway na constipation ‘to.
In the neighboring cubicle was Ethan, having a loose bowel movement. He heard what Samuel had said. Done with his agenda, he carefully reached for the tissue at the dispenser. It made noise. More noise when he found out what was left of the tissue was just the cylindrical carton.
Samuel heard it. “May tao ba d’yan?”
“Ako ‘to,” Ethan confirmed after a long pause.
Samuel recognized that voice. Unbelievably, his stomach pain suddenly disappeared. “Ano naman ginagawa mo d’yan?”
“Alam mo na ‘yon.”
“May constipation ka din?”
“LBM.” It was almost inaudible.
“LBM?” Samuel repeated aloud and controlled his snickering.
“Uhm, Sam-“
“What did you just call me?”
Ethan’s mind groaned but he pushed his luck. “Wel. Uhm, Wel. May tissue ka ba d’yan? Naubusan kasi ako dito, eh,” he said in his politest manner.
Samuel snickered more then remembered to cover his mouth. He pulled out some rolls of tissue but for his own. “Tissue? Sorry, ha. Wala din, eh. Kungmamalasin ka nga naman, o.”
With patience being tried, Ethan’s mind grunted. Samuel came up with something.
“If I were you, gagawa’n ko ng paraan.”
“Anong paraan?” So Ethan had hopes.
Kumagat si Engot! Sam mentally praised his own success. “Uh, it depends on your blood type. Mainipin ang type A; kahit ano, gagawin n’ya. Ang type B naman, pasensyoso; mag-aantay s’ya kahit ga’no katagal. Ang type O, hindi maarte.”
Ethan was confused. “Ikaw, anong gagawin mo?”
“Type O ang blood ko. Hindi ako maarte. Pwede na kahit ‘di maghugas.” Sam laughed without a sound. “Ikaw, sa tingin ko, AB ang dugo mo. Madiskarte ang type AB.”
“Wala akong maisip na diskarte.” Ethan was getting impatient.
“If I were you, I’d use my socks.”
Ethan looked at his black socks. He didn’t like that idea. Then he heard a flushing sound from Sam’s cubicle.
“You’re done?”
“Yep.” Sam stood up and zipped his pants.
“What’d you do? ‘Di ka naghugas?”
“Hindi naman ako maarte, ‘di ba? So, ginamit ko ang medyas ko.” Sam vacated his cubicle.
“Sam—este, Wel, dal’han mo naman ako ng tissue.”
As though he heard nothing Sam turned the faucet on and washed his hands. The swishing sound it created plus his relaxed humming caused Ethan to worry. Soon as Sam turned the faucet off, Ethan called out and reminded him of his favor.
“Sige, mag-antay ka lang d’yan.” Hanggang sa mabulok ka, Sam thoughtfully added.
“Bilisan mo, ha?”
“Oo.” Sam left the CR, whistling.
Payback time!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A certain part of the second floor turned to a dining room every lunch hour. It was Ethan’s idea to maintain a healthy relationship with his employees.
The rest was already having lunch when Samuel arrived from the comfort room. He took an empty seat at the same table with Ethan’s secretary and Janet.
Not long after, Ethan arrived and took the last empty chair beside Samuel. He looked normally fine to Sam as if nothing had happened earlier.
Could he have used his sock? Samuel asked himself the same question.
They ate silently. Suddenly, Ethan put vegetables on Samuel’s plate.
“Talbos ng kalmote. Makakatulong sa’yo ‘yan.”
Janet and the secretary watched Ethan and Samuel in wonder.
Samuel put the vegetables back on Ethan’s plate. “Sa ‘yo na lang; para medyo mabarahan.”
This time, Janet and the secretary glanced questionably at each other.
Ethan turned to face Sam but before he could utter a word, Samuel called out to all the employees: “Ice cream, anyone? My treat. Just say ‘aight’.”
“Aight!” everyone cheered in unison except Ethan.
1 comments:
should have posted this last april fool's....
^__^
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